TobySturgill.com, y’all.

The above clip is the trailer for the movie, “The Strangers”, and is probably THE scariest movie I’ve seen because it deals with my most horrifying thought: thinking I’m home alone and learning that I’m not.

After a long day of working I head home after church to get some more work done. My friends, who were out at Mexican Trivia night, call me and say they had a good time and they’re heading home. I’m not really in the mood to work, but need to in order to meet deadlines, etc. We say good night, hang up the phone and I get back to work.

Allow me to set the scene: I’m upstairs in my home office above the garage. I had the heat on while I was gone so it’s pretty warm. Like most guys who work out of a home office, I’m rarely dressed and because it’s so hot upstairs, I undress to just my underwear and a hoodie… your basic work-from-home apparel. I am home. Alone.

I’ve got the doors locked and light on downstairs, the window open and lights on in the office, and my music is playing pretty loud. I’m working for about 15 minutes when I hear three very hard, deliberate knocks down stairs. *BAM* … *BAM* …*BAM* When I hear the first one I think something just fell downstairs. That reasoning is quickly erased when I hear the other two knocks. From where I’m sitting I think it’s coming from inside the garage. My mind immediately goes to thinking that someone’s in the house and they’re messing with me. It’s 10:11. Who would that be? All my friends are at their places in Franklin and Nashville. And I’m pretty sure that knocking came from inside my already locked home. My heart starts racing.

I sit back, mute my music and just sit there. Trapped upstairs with nothing but my cell phone and a cup of pens to defend myself. I don’t hear anything else again for a few minutes. Not wasting any time or taking any chances I call 911. Not the non-emergency local police department. 9-1-1. (Hey, I’ve seen the movies… I know what to do, y’all). 

As I’m on the phone with 911 I quickly tell them it’s not life or death and that I’m fine (for now) but that I just need a cop to drive by the house. It’s while I’m on the phone that things start to get crazy. The knocks become more frequent, they’re now tapping on my windows in the living room, bedroom and kitchen. I’m surrounded. Trapped.

Wait, I’m in my underwear… I can’t go to the door and let the cops in. I’m not going down stairs to “check out the noise either” (HUGE mistake in horror movies and I’m already upstairs, so there’s that)

I turn off the lights in my office and hunker down next to the window in a corner to see if i can see anything outside. I’m on the phone for about 4 minutes or so when I hear my name being called out from below. I look out to see Tracie and Jesse standing in my drive way. Still on the phone will 911 I throw out a few expletives to them saying I’m on the phone with the cops. The lady on the other end asks if everything is ok. I apologize to her and explain it was all an April fools joke on me and that everything is fine.

Now, some of you might be wondering “where were your dogs in all of this?”. Yes, well, I’ve trained my two pit bulls so well that they kept quiet the entire time. They only get restless and fearful when they sense I am fearful. Then they start running up and down the stairs, but without barking. I think I’m going to have to work on that with them.

I learn it’s my friends and am relieved. My heart is still racing and my hands are still shaking. Adrenaline is still running through my body when I open the door to them (in my underwear). They come inside and have a good laugh about it and tell me all they did.

A good prank, yes. But still there’s nothing like having your worst fear played out right in front of you.

To the Spring Hill police department I want to apologize again for taking your time. Thank you for being patient with me and almost coming to my rescue.

To my friends Jesse, Tracie and Amanda I say thank you for keeping me on my toes. Or in this case, huddled in a dark corner in my underwear. But don’t ever do it again.

Share on Facebook